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Monday, April 28, 2008/ 10:45 PM mr mysterious. mr mysterious came into my dream again. it was a nice one. i want to smack mr mysterious and tell him "pls stop disturbing my sleep" (if i ever meet him that is) everything's damn blurry now. it's still blurry. ~an unlikely alliance i've got.~ i guess i'm blessed with great people around me. :) |
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Thursday, April 24, 2008/ 10:25 PM have i seen you before? sitting adjacent to each other. something about how you smiled felt like i've known you long enough. something about how you glanced gave me that something something. you have that something something. that feeling was undescribable. indefinable. im scared of my own feelings. im scared of what you're feeling now. im scared of the whole situation. you ooze a charming aura within you within that reservedness of yours. now now people, don't tell me to spill the beans. there's nothing to spill. i swear, there's nothing to spill. everything's blurry currently. ~but still, i felt the something something.~ |
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Wednesday, April 23, 2008/ 9:40 PM cheers! If love is a weakness, You are weak. I am weak. Our mothers are weak. Our fathers are weak. Our brothers are weak. Our sisters are weak. Our grandmas are weak. Because they love us. And especially because we love them back. If love is a weakness, Then marriages are fallacies. Couples are kamikazes. Children are mistakes. And if love is a weakness. The world is dead. Because God gave us feelings. And because we love Him. And He loves us still. Love is when you care about someone, regardless of his nature, his past, his present. Love is when you wake up in the middle of the night, To check if all’s okay, To know that he is safe and snug in bed. Love is when you can forgive yourself, And when you can forgive him. When you can admit your faults, And admit his. Love is when you hurt someone, But he doesn’t care, Because he loves you for who you are, Not for what you did. Love is when his faith is never faltering, Because he knows that you love him too. ~to whoever is in love right now, stay happy. to someone, thanks for making my days a bearable one.~ cheers. =) tonight(tmr,next week?) will be the night/day that i will fall for you don't let me change my mind |
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/ 3:35 AM light-headed. i've got a spinning head. powerpoint done. played uno with dearest luqman during break in the pantry. haha. whey! i don't look stress playing uno lah. hahaha. the store was kinda quiet without 'mr girlfriend'. i miss telling him to shut up. LOLS. and a standing ovation from teck seng. he said i'm 'powerrr'. FOS got me singing again at reg 1. colbie caillat was playing on air over at info 1. ~a sickly,light-headed superwoman.~ i was floating even at work. i need a break. |
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Sunday, April 20, 2008/ 6:15 PM crush crush crush. "i got alot to say to you. yeah i got alot to say..." okay. i hope it doesn't start again. "Going coming thought I heard a knock Who's there no one Thinking that I deserve it Now I realise that I really didn't know If you didn't notice you mean everything Quickly I'm learning to love again All I know is I'm gon' be ok..." i could see myself smiling when im thinking about you. but i guess its too early for everything and anything. haha. nice captivating smile, not too 'manly wannabe' and the right amount of friendliness within him. i know i saw you glancing when my name was called out. =) "If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh Hurt my feelings but that's the path I believe in And I know that time will heal it If you didn't notice boy you meant everything Quickly I'm learning to love again All I know is I'm gon' be ok..." and several times i caught myself thinking about you and i had to shake off that feeling. over and over again. and i caught myself stealing glances at you time and time again. =) ~a sucka for speckies.~ |
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Friday, April 18, 2008/ 9:30 PM the chapalangs. info 1-ed and the chapalangs made my day. irritating hadi and saiful refused to help me shelf back the books at the top most shelf. pfft. me: haiya. tak sampai.. hadi: tak sampai? ish ish ish.. kesian nye.. jgn suruh aku tolong ehh.. saiful: saper tak sampai?? hadi: budak ni lahh.. saiful: ish ish ish.. kesian nye.. and they laughed.. and i badly wanted to make them read "how to be and act like a gentleman.." hahaha.. but then they are really nice people.. hahaha.. info 1 rocked my day yet again.. with all the chapalangs there.. and not forgetting gen rec chapalangs also.. terrena, si hong, luqman, martin, nadia, and of course yours truly (the leader of the chapalangs) terrena: lepas kerja mahu makan babi goreng? me: HUH?! WTH?! karen: starts blabbering in malay.. me: ROFL.LMAO.LMAO.LMAO.LMAO.ROFL.ROFL. met musa halfway musa: whatsup! nampak farhan multimedia? me: farhan? he's been in the cage with hadi the whole day. dunno what they do also. musa: LOLS. and i felt the tremors caused by godzilla in the morning. scared the shit out of the customers. so we made a special announcement specially for the tremors. but when we're ready to announce in to the whole store, the freaking tremors stopped. rafee: ok.. just explain to customers.. sir, when i say the book is out of stock its really out of stock.. dun make godzilla angry.. or else he'll come out and eat you up. me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA rafee: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and we continued HAHA-ing for the next 5 mins. i couldn say anything but just HAHA. eventhough my break was at 2pm. which made me almost turn into a godzilla myself. i had tons of fun. being a chapalang, clearing the gen rec cart, doing info 1 with the chapalangs. my day was A-W-E-S-O-M-E |
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Tuesday, April 15, 2008/ 9:45 PM a pretty content lady. life has been awesome. apart from working my ass off at work, which now then i realise that i've been spending more time at work then at home. haha. but can't be helped lah. was talking to a colleague over lunch at work and i realise that we can never be content with what we have. we're searching for the things that makes us happy and the more we keep searching for it, the more unsatisfied we will be. i have currently financial stability, educational achievements, a bright future but somehow something is missing. something which i cannot comprehend, something i cannot see yet i could feel right to my bones. i am hiding behind the mask that i put on every single day. i watch with envy as my friends have that someone to spend their mundane days with (i am a human being as you all know). but my believe in love has been tarnished by love itself. i smile and i laugh and i joke just to prove to myself that i am stronger than what i thought i could be. well, i am but there's just something bugging me deep down inside. camwhoring don't make a difference now cos all i can see is just an empty soul, sometimes hiding behind tons of makeup. makeup doesn't make any difference at all. it hides the physical sorrows but the emotional hurt still shows in the end. so what's the point then? well atleast, i know i feel much better by acting brave and strong around people. im just sceptical about love now. it doesn't exist anymore. love made fun of my feelings, love cheated me of my own feelings, love basically cheated me. by having an affair with pain and separation. but somehow, i know the right person is out there for everyone. damn, im optimistic yet im a freaking pessimist. In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. ~i don't make sense anymore.~ im a mere speck of dust on Earth afterall. |
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Monday, April 14, 2008/ 5:00 PM lights will guide me and you home. When you try your best but you don't succeed When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone but it goes to waste could it be worse? Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you And high up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go But if you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you Tears stream down on your face When you lose something you cannot replace Tears stream down your face And I Tears stream down on your face I promise you I will learn from my mistakes Tears stream down your face And I Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you. ~i went looking for a whisper.~ Come on in I've got to tell you what a state I'm in I've got to tell you in my loudest tones That I started looking for A Whisper When the truth is I miss you Yeah the truth is That I miss you so. |
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/ 6:55 AM OFF DAY!!! what a mess. but together with the other CSAs (adam, nad, ling wei, priscilla), the kids section was cleared. kids rec was a normal 2 library carts affair on a weekend. ok, damn tired and jaded, worn out, gonna go back to sleep. now the guys are teaming up against me. how fun. hahahaha. sheesh. ~i hate you but i love you, bitch~ =) somebody has a charming and interesting aura. |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008/ 5:10 PM frisunturday. it's my OFF DAY! yeay! info 1 makes me crappy. cos of the crappy people that works with me at info 1. he turned into a christmas tree. i am not a MAKCIK! i look old meh?? hahas. next time he calls me makcik, i'll make sure i'll call him atok. had a spelling game with an italian customer. hilarious! nice lady she was. was telling someone that i'll be working closing for 3 nites straight. me: haiya. closing during weekends. i can't remember what's her name: ohh sians. saturday, sunday? me: yea. sunturday. i can't remember what's her name: sunturday?haha. friday also?? me: yea. frisunturday. haha. so i have a new method of telling people the days i work. frisunturday. addicted to the book "when god winks on love." there is no coincidence on coincidence. its all god's work. and people around me are congratulating me. that made me wonder. how happy were they for me back then? if only they know how i felt back then. on a brighter note, new acquaintances and new colleagues. new networks. and a new life. i hope 'you-know-who-you-are' are having the time of your life too. i always pray for your happiness and for your life to be on the right track. didn't i tell you that i'll be your well-wisher? i just hope you're fine =) i still owe you one ayam penyet meal, and an ice cream treat. ~it was no coincidence. it was god's work.~ and i love coincidences. for both electronic media and mass media research *grins widely* superwoman. |
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008/ 10:40 PM i am happy even though i am shit tired. haha. "nak terbang ke?" translating that into english, "you want to fly ahh?" haha. imagine red umbrella, walking in the store. and a very happy looking face. haha. i have this fetish on "she-hulk". and i have a partner. a "he-hulk". hahas. mr announcement. why you want to quit. wah lau. then i got no more "he-hulk" already. hahas. ok don't start assuming ahh. info 1-ed again for the whole day. abit of gen rec here and there. i miss the v-carts. now cannot hog the v-carts already. newbie mahh. must shy shy abit. hahas. right. sheesh. different shift from safiah. so, no honey sweets from her. only cola sweets in the pantry. haha. gerek ahh. haha. info 1 was rocking fun today. i was the permanent one there since morning. had huimin, peishan, hawariah, shariffah, and herzy as my info-mates. priscilla, and desmond stopped by for awhile. and nicole too. and as usual, i crapped alot. i think i can win an award for being the most kecoh 'newbie' there. rofl. ~i wanna turn green like she-hulk. RAWR.~ ok back to project. yes i can do it! |
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Monday, April 7, 2008/ 10:35 PM info 1 and weird questions. first day. 2 hours of crash course. info 1. and the only thing etched in my mind is "is there borders in india?" and the answer was "not yet set up." why do i always get weird questions? rofl. aww. i didn't get to talk to best friend. lets just hope they plan a 'surprise' dinner with me in town during the weekend. closing shift for friday,saturday and sunday mann. full-timer yo! i'll act as if i wasn't the one who told you guys to come down and surprise me k. i promise. =) slogging it out for grad project. ~this is what they call a rawking crazy weekend in town.~ i need to swap shift with myself. |
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Sunday, April 6, 2008/ 9:40 PM she who looks better in no doubt. You and me We used to be together Everyday together always I really feel That I'm losing my best friend I can't believe This could be the end It looks as though you're letting go And if it's real Well I don't want to know Don't speak I know just what you're saying So please stop explaining Don't tell me cause it hurts Don't speak I know what you're thinking I don't need your reasons Don't tell me cause it hurts Our memories Well, they can be inviting But some are altogether Mighty frightening As we die, both you and I With my head in my hands I sit and cry Don't speak I know just what you're saying So please stop explaining Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no) Don't speak I know what you're thinking I don't need your reasons Don't tell me cause it hurts It's all ending I gotta stop pretending who we are... You and me I can see us dying...are we? Don't speak I know just what you're saying So please stop explaining Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no) Don't speak I know what you're thinking I don't need your reasons Don't tell me cause it hurts Don't tell me cause it hurts! I know what you're saying So please stop explaining Don't speak, don't speak, don't speak, oh I know what you're thinking And I don't need your reasons I know you're good, I know you're good, I know you're real good Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts ~don't speak - no doubt.~ |
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/ 3:45 AM graduation project gives me gastric. lmao. graduation project gives me the ache. head, tummy, body, heart and so on and so forth. i know im not making sense. coding system done. intensive report-ing now. kinda stuck. how annoying. on a very extremely light note, chatted with a friend and this is the conclusion he reached. on a very controversial issue in my life (which he refuses to have a say on) "it takes two to clap but it takes just one to fart..so if u cant stand the fart.. walk away from it unless the farter stop farting.. but will he fart again? that is the question" so i said: he can fart all he wants cos in the end its him who'll smell the most. on me, and the reason why they just keep telling me to do it almost everytime "u have the "god-damn-it-stupid-kids-i'm-not-gonna-have-any" look" and i said: lmao. well-said. rofl. and the rest of the conversation is for my eyes only. ~im gonna be there on monday with hair on my head as well as my eyebrows. not shaving any of them bald. fat hope mann.~ |
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Saturday, April 5, 2008/ 1:00 AM i need a break. someone once said to me "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. Throw away those insecurities and you will achieve even better than what you can be." when the times get tough, you get stronger. having a tough time in academic life. its hard to get started. its even harder the more i think about it. shit. 2 weeks and 5000 words. plus content analysis and all that interview crap. financial wise, it'll get better. but at what price? am i risking my academic for financial stuffs? shallow am i? shit. whatever it is, im gonna take everything in my stride. positivity is the key. when life pulls me down, i gotta get up on my own two feet. im gonna bawl my eyes out tonight when i sleep. tmr will be a fine day. and to that someone, thanks for the advice. that was a very long time ago. but i remember it all. and if you no longer see or hear about my social life, that means ive turned into some workaholic. both at work and school work. but i know, confirm plus chopstick im going for that click five concert. making ends meet. you don't need me the way i wish you would. i wish you need me the way i need you. but things do not always go my way. the world doesn't revolve around me. neither do i revolve around the world. i wish you well. i always will. i miss you. ~someone who needs a break but just can't afford to risk it.~ happy posts will come soon. i promise. |
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Friday, April 4, 2008/ 4:25 PM utter delirious. ok im officially excited and roaring to do my project.  ok breathe. haha. suppose to be doing project. but but but. took the paper and the front page caught my eye. yes. CLICK FIVE COMING! 1st JUNE! I WANT TO GO. wait, let me rephrase that. I CAN GO! work starts on monday. and being a temp full-timer, i can already hear the ker-chings!! *holds the newpaper and runs around the room, hugging and kissing it* esh,esh.. lets go! remember our jenny fetish in advertising?? lets relive it all over again babe! oh, i so wanna be jenny. even if it takes me 9 more years, i will wait for you. cos i know i still do. im missing your calls, miss sharing stories with you, miss hearing your stories. crazy as it might sound, im still crazy about you. and i can't breathe when i think about you. i wish for you tonight. i miss you. ~my wish tonight is, you.~ |
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Thursday, April 3, 2008/ 3:20 AM random. early in the morning. haha. im probably turning bonkers doing my project. but who wouldn't. after watching topless guys with hot bods at 430am. today will be another dose of an orgasmic morning for me when arsenal plays liverpool. i don't know why. but i have a weird fetish for defenders who can head the ball really well. think about vidic and carragher. and yes, that "boy/man" ronaldo. he flew! rofl. looking forward for more american idol. oh that aussie guy and that cook guy. went back to borders. APPLIED! rofl. it was probably the scariest journey up to the 4th floor after so many months. it felt like the longest journey up to the office ever. for some reason, it was kinda nerve-wrecking. haha. i know she meant well when she asked me that question. talked to razi for awhile and noraini too. but i didn't see dracula there. must be hibernating or too busy trying to communicate with computers. hahas. ive always thought that someone who can catch my attention when he's just staring into space is hot.. ~i wonder. do you miss me like how i'm missing you now.~ |
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Tuesday, April 1, 2008/ 11:25 PM 10am. no more. then. there used to be a "good morning sweetheart, it's 10am. " every single day. without fail. now. everyday at 10am, i would drift in and out of sleep. and would go back to sleep in the end. first thing that i'll do at 10am. check the handphone for any missed call or any unreplied smses. then go back to sleep and force myself to get out of the bed. no more "good morning sweetheart" or that sweet voice which acts like my alarm clock everyday at 10am. i have to deal with it. again. it'll take time. but i'll deal with it. |
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/ 6:00 PM if you're bored,stressed out,delusional,deranged or just weird. THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR. 1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you 2. Push buttons and pretend they shock you 3. Ask if you can push the buttons for other people and then push the wrong ones 4. Call the psychic hotline on your cellphone and ask if they know what floor your on 5. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while let the doors close and say "Hi Greg! How's your day been?" 6. Drop a pen and wait until some one picks it up and then scream "THAT'S MINE!" 7. Pretend you're a flight attendant and go over the emergency procedures and exits with the other people 8. Stand really close to someone sniffing them occasionally 9. When the doors close announce to the other people "It's ok! Don't panic! They will open again" 10. Call out group hug and then enforce it 11. Crack open your briefcase or purse and while looking inside ask "Got enough air in there?" 12. Stand silently in the corner facing the wall without getting off 13. Stare at another person for a while and then announce in horror "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly 14. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to other people 15. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope 16. Stare grinning at another person for a while and then say "I have new sockson" :rofl: 17. Draw a square on the floor with chalk and then announce to the other passengers "This is MY personal space" 18. Lay down a twister mat and ask other people if they want to play 19. Swat at flies that don't exist 20. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead muttering "Shut up all ofyou... just shut up! 21. Bring a camera and take pictures of you and everyone else on the elevator 22. Pretend you're listening to music on a headset and start dancing like crazy 23. Ask "Did you feel that?" 24. Make explosion noises whenever someone presses a button 25. Leave a box in the corner and when people get on ask if they hear ticking. have loads of fun people! |
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