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Thursday, November 13, 2008/ 10:35 PM ultimate low. not good not good. i probably had an accident that i didn know i had. i'm suffering from retrograde amnesia. i cannot, for the love of god, retain new information. im getting so irritated/agitated/frustrated. SHIT. i've never swear or curse so much in my entire life. and worse, im swearing at my own hand-written notes. i hate the textbook, its so freaking huge and thick. my arm hurts from cradling it while i furiously flip to the pages of the text. i hate the module, its so freaking freaking freaking annoying. the brain parts have such long names. its freaking annoying. if its a brain, its a brain! goddammit! im so freaking depress now. i wanna bawl my eyes out. but no, i can't do that cos if i do that mum would get sadder cos daddy is not home. daddy come home lah. ish. his workers working damn slow lah. ish. so unlike the cry-baby fidah, i hold back my tears, put up a brave front for mummy and just be braver. judging from the course syllabus that i received, research methodology will be another pain in the ass. cos its a freaking group work. and some people just love to free-rides in class. and need to get another book, think what money grow from trees ah. money money money money. neverending. i want to rip off my hair, cut myself, bleed, hang myself from the ceiling and just die. then i don't have to sit for exam on saturday. but for now, i badly want to tear those notes into pieces and eat them all up. gobble them down and maybe i'll get admitted into IMH. ~daddy come home now.~ |
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